Zapping Self-Doubt

We checked in to our room at a sunny resort in Dominican Republic, thanked our bellman with words and cash, and I kicked off my shoes.  Filled with excitement for the coming week with plans of relaxation, spending time with our friends, and exploring the area, we began to unpack. 

Since I used my computer during travel, it was low on battery, so I pulled it out of the bag and bent down to plug it into the outlet under the desk.  After standing, I attached the cord to the power outlet on the laptop and received a little zap.  “Got my finger in between the two metal pieces,” is what I thought.

I proceeded to move the laptop to the corner of the desk so it would be out of the way, and when I touched the metal laptop case, I received my second shock.  A vibration shot up my arm.  This time, I let out a small shriek as I jumped back.

That got my husband’s attention.  He asked me what I was doing, so I explained the zaps I was receiving.  He walked up, put his hand on my computer, and… nothing.  Then he looked at me funny.

Confused and wondering if I imagined the zaps, I put my hand on the laptop again.  Zaaaap!  It happened again.  And again, he put his hand on it, and… nothing.

It was at that moment I wondered if I was losing it.  Was I going crazy?  Could I be imagining it?  It felt very real.  My mind raced as it argued with itself.  It was experience vs self-doubt – “I’m not crazy.  I know I was shocked.” Vs “it’s not shocking him, so I must be crazy.”

Experience won.  I told myself, “I was shocked.  He wasn’t.  Figure out what the difference is.”  A few seconds of silence passed.  Then a thought zapped into my mind that felt as unexpected as the electricity that passed through my arm.  He is wearing his rubber sandals, whereas I am barefoot.

“Take off your shoes and then touch it,” is what I said to him.  He smiled, kicked off his shoes, and put his hand on my computer.  “Whoa!” he said.  “What the…?”

Turns out, I am not crazy.  There was something strange going on with that outlet.  He unplugged my computer, and we took it across the room to a different outlet.  For the rest of the week, I was cautious when using my laptop, but thankfully received no more shocks. 

The lesson I was reminded of that day was – Self-doubt will creep in at times, and it’s my job to recognize it and fight against it.  Self-doubt only affects me if I let it.  I can use will, focus, and experience to overcome those doubts, as can we all.